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THIS JOURNAL IS DEAD

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[30 Aug 2003|12:31am]
[ mood | blank ]

MY VERY LAST ENTRY.
HERE I WRITE ABOUT ALL THE GOOD AND BAD STUFF THAT HAPPENS, BUT MOSTLY GOOD STUFF, BECAUSE YOU GUYS MAKE ME FEEL SO SPECIAL AND MAKE ME FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF.
I HAVE BEEN DEPRESSED FOR AS LONG AS I COULD REMEMBER.
I AM SHY.
HAVE VERY LOW SELF-ESTEEM.
HAVE NO FRIENDS.
A LONER.
CAN'T EVEN DEFEND MYSELF.
I AM SO FUCKING LAME, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN.
BUT LATELY, YOU GUYS HELPED ME BE MORE SOCIAL, BUILD MORE CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF AND I THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH.
I HAVE LEARN TO TALK TO MORE PEOPLE AND ACTUALLY GO TO PUBLIC PLACES AND NOT BE SO SCARED.
I EVEN MADE SOME REAL FRIENDS.
MIKE AND TAYLOR, TWO OF MY BEST FRIENDS.
TWO PEOPLE I CHERISH THE MOST.
TWO PEOPLE I ADORE AND CARE ABOUT.
TWO PEOPLE I EVER TALK ABOUT IN MY JOURNAL.
WHY DID YOU EVER BREAK UP?
IT FUCKED UP EVERYTHING.
EVERYTHING WAS GOING SO GREAT.
YES, I ADMIT, I WAS BIT JEALOUS BECAUSE MIKE HAD SUCH A LOVELY GIRLFRIEND AND I WANTED TO BE IN HIS SHOES.
BUT IT WAS THE WAY I LIKED IT.
I ALWAYS LOOKED UP TO YOU TWO.
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE LIKE YOU, MIKE.
AND I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO FIND A GIRL LIKE YOU, TAYLOR.
BUT FROM WHAT I FOUND OUT TONIGHT,
I AM FUCKING DISSAPOINTED.
YOU KNOW I LIKE YOU TAYLOR.
AND WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS?
ALL THIS TIME, I HAVE NEVER EVER LIED TO YOU PURPOSELY, OR HURT YOU IN ANY WAYS.
I GAVE YOU MY TRUST.
I GAVE YOU MY RESPECT.
I DIDN'T SPEND TIME WITH YOU BECAUSE I WAS BORED OR I DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO.
YOU THINK I ENJOY EVERYTHING WE EVER DID TOGETHER?
DO YOU THINK I ENJOYED PALM READING FROM THAT NASTY BITCH THAT JUST WANTED MONEY FROM US? ALTHOUGH SHE KNEW EVERYTHING..
DO YOU THINK I WANTED TO HAVE SUSHI FOR DINNER?
NO, I DO IT BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY AND STAY HAPPY.
I FEEL SO STUPID FOR TELLING YOU ALL THE THINGS I TOLD YOU.
BECAUSE YOU DON'T FEEL SAME WAY.
I AM JUST A NICE GUY, BUT THAT'S IT.
WHY IS IT THAT YOU SPEND MORE TIME WITH OTHER GUYS THAT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW?
ESPECIALLY WHEN I AM NEXT TO YOU?
DO YOU EVER STOP AND THINK?
WHY ARE YOU SO SELFISH?
MAYBE IT'S ALL THE DYE THAT GOT IN YOUR SCALP SINCE YOU DYE SO MUCH.
MUST HAVE KILLED A LOT OF BRAIN CELLS.
I DON'T ASK A LOT FROM YOU.
I LIKE YOU A LOT, BUT NOT THAT KIND OF WAY.
I WISH YOU WOULD JUST SPEND MORE TIME WITH ME AND TALK ABOUT ME RATHER THAN CHECKING OUT ALL THE BOYS AND TELL ME HOW CUTE THEY ARE.
I WISH YOU WOULD HUG ME MORE OFTEN.
LOOK AT ME WHEN YOU TALK TO ME.
YOU KNOW, SPEND MORE TIME BEING KIDS THAT WE ARE.
AND DON'T BLAME THINGS ON PEOPLE FOR YOUR ACTION.
YOU ALWAYS TELL THE OTHERS THAT THEY HURT YOU, BUT THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.
ARE YOU THAT INNOCENT? HAVE YOU DONE NO WRONG?
SOMETIMES, YOU GOT TO BE A BIGGER PERSON AND TAKE IT.
IT'S NOT SO HARD TO SAY SORRY ONCE A WHILE.
I ONLY HAVE ONE MORE YEAR WITH YOU NOW.
AND IT'S ALREADY HEADING TO ROCKY START AND I AM STARTING HATE YOU.
AND I DON'T WANT TO.
I REALLY DON'T.
AND MIKE.
WHY MUST YOU DO STUFF TO HURT TAYLOR SO BADLY?
I KNOW YOU ARE MOVING ON, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE HOW GREAT IT IS AND SHIT LIKE THAT.
YOU KNOW, NOT ONLY IT MAKES THE OTHER PERSON JEALOUS, IT GETS LITTLE ANNOYING WHEN YOU SAY IT OVER AND OVER.
BROKEN RECORD, MIKE.
SERIOUSLY.
I KNOW YOU STILL LOVE TAYLOR AND I AM SO GLAD BECAUSE I REALLY WANT YOU TO GET BACK TOGETHER AND BE BACK TO NORMAL AGAIN.
IT'S SO FUCKED UP I CAN'T EVEN TELL IT IN WORDS.
SERIOUSLY,
THAT CASSIE IS NOT THE GIRL FOR YOU.
NOT EVEN AS A FRIEND.
SHE'S NOT LOYAL.
SHE'S A FUCKING LIAR.
IF SHE LIES ABOUT LITTLE THINGS, YOU KNOW SHE'S GOING TO LIE ON BIG THINGS AS WELL.
JUST FORGET ABOUT HER WHILE YOU CAN.
DON'T GET SO ATTACHED.
SHE LOOKS SO SWEET AND INNOCENT, BUT SHE'S A FUCKING HAGGARD INSIDE.
YOU SEEM TO SEE RIGHT THROUGH GIRLS.
I UNDERSTAND YOU ARE MOVING ON, BUT IF YOU ARE, FIND YOURSELF A BETTER FRIEND.
I HATE TO SAY THIS AGAIN AND AGAIN, BUT SHE SIMPLY IS NOT THE RIGHT ONE FOR YOU.
I MEAN SHE HATES ME ALREADY AND I HAVEN'T SAID A WORD TO HER.
WTF?
RIGHT NOW, AS OF TONIGHT, I AM VERY CONFUSED AND PISSED OFF.
I HATE BEING DEPRESSED.
I HATE BEING SAD.
BUT THAT'S HOW I FEEL TONIGHT AND I WILL NEVER FORGET THE GOOD TIMES.
I LOVE YOU, BUT I NEED TO MOVE ON.
YOU GUYS AREN'T MY FRIENDS.
I HAVE NO FRIENDS.
ATLEAST REAL FRIENDS.
THIS IS MY LAST FUCKING ENTRY.
I WILL BE BACK SOMEDAY.
AND WHEN I DO COME BACK, I WILL ADD MOST OF YOU BACK.
RIGHT NOW, I NEED SOME TIME ALONE.
XOXO.
GENE.

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[19 Aug 2003|12:58am]
[ mood | curious ]

WHAT IS THE DEFINITION OF AN

ESKIMO KISS?

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[15 Aug 2003|10:52pm]
[ mood | confused ]

EWWWWWWW.
I LOVE THE COLORS BUT NOT THE WHOLE LAY OUT.
MY FONTS ARE HUGE AND I MISS MY OLD LAYOUT.
MAKE FONTS SMALLER.
CHANGE THE COMMENTS.
RE DO IT.</s>

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[09 Aug 2003|11:34pm]
[ mood | drained ]

TODAY, I TOOK THE MOST CUTEST/ADORABLE GIRL OUT FOR LUNCH.
WE WENT TO OLIVE GARDEN.
I MEAN, I DON'T EVEN TAKE MY OWN FAMILY OUT.
I REALLY LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS GIRL TO THE MAX.
WE HAD GOOD LUNCH, THEN WE MET HER FRIEND ALLISON, WHO WAS REALLY HOT.
I FELT SO SMALL JUST BEING NEXT TO HER.
WELL, THEN AGAIN, I WAS LITERALLY SHORTER THAN HER.
SHE WAS JUST WAY OUT OF MY LEAGUE.
I FELT AWKWARD.
I DIDN'T TALK MUCH.
DAMNIT.
BAD BAD FIRST IMPRESSION.
I DON'T THINK SHE LIKED ME EITHER.
OH WELL.
IT'S HARD WHEN YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS SOOOOOO CUTE AND ADORABLE AT THE SAME TIME.
SHE IS ONE OF A KIND.
THERE ARE NO OTHER GIRLS THAT CAN TOP HER AT THIS MOMENT.
I LOVE HER, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I DON'T THINK SHE FEELS SAME WAY AND I DON'T REALLY GET ALONG WITH HER FRIENDS.
THEY ARE JUST TOO COOL.
I WISH HER FRIENDS WERE BAND GEEKS AND THEATRE FREAKS.
ROFL.

I LOVE YOU, CARLY.

OH BTW, FOR THE FUTURE REFERENCE, SOME OF YOU FUCKERS WILL BE OFF MY FRIENDS LIST AND THIS JOURNAL WILL BE FRIENDS ONLY.
I KNOW MANY OF YOU WILL STAY BUT VERY FEW OF YOU FUCKERS WON'T MAKE IT.

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[09 Aug 2003|04:33pm]
eugeney, i made it pretty but if you dont like it then i can change it. oh & i still have the overrides to yr old layout too if you want that. ok talk to you later<33

xoxo
steph
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[09 Aug 2003|12:34am]
[ mood | horny ]

WHEN I THINK ABOUT YOU, I...Collapse )

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[07 Aug 2003|10:44pm]
[ mood | confused ]

DOES SHE KNOW THAT I AM IN LOVE WITH HER?
DOES SHE CARE HOW I FEEL?
I AM SO CONFUSED.
I THINK THE CHEMISTRY IS GONE.
SO SOON. :(

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[07 Aug 2003|06:08pm]
[ mood | giggly ]

SHE IS CONTAGIOUS.
I LOVE YOU

title or description

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[07 Aug 2003|04:49pm]
[ mood | bored ]

HASH(0x8523234)
You're a great big kitty meatball. Plump, juicy...
and way too cute to eat.
Eeeee, I want ten just like him! ^-^


What kind of edible kitty are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

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[05 Aug 2003|11:56pm]
[ mood | angry ]

HITMAN / HITWOMAN FOR HIRE.

FOR MORE INFO;
CALL 703-626-8872
EMAIL CUTOPENWRIST@AOL.com

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[03 Aug 2003|11:17pm]
[ mood | confused ]

what is one thing that every girl love?

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[30 Jul 2003|10:03pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

VITAL INFORMATION;

SPRAY.

DELAY.

WALK AWAY.

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[26 Jul 2003|06:22pm]
[ mood | HEADACHE. PERHAPS A TUMOR? ]

LAST NIGHT;
WENT TO A SHOW IN RURITAN.
MET 2 BEAUTIFUL GIRLS NAMED AMBER AND CATIE.
THEY ARE SOOOOOO ADORABLE.
I GOT THEIR NUMBERS AND SCREEN NAME.
HAD VERY FUN TIME JUST TALKING TO CATIE AND HANGING OUT WITH MIKE AND TAYLOR AND MIKE'S FRIEND.
TALKED TO PHIL AND GAVE HIM A FREE LAP DANCE.
DIRTY DIRTY KID HE IS.
THE SHOW WASN'T AS FUN AS THE SHOW THEY HAD OVER AT SUGARLAND.
IT WAS SMALL, BUT I DON'T THINK ANY SHOW CAN TOP THAT.
WORD.

TODAY;
BAKED A CAKE FOR TAYLOR.
WENT TO HOOTERS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE.
MY MOM FREAKED OUT WHEN I TOLD HER THAT I WAS GOING TO GO TO HOOTERS.
TRY HAVING ASIAN MOTHER!
YOU KNOW THE DEAL.
OK OK, SO WE HAD LUNCH THERE AND SWAPPED BAKED GOODS.
TAYLOR TOLD THEM IT WAS OUR BIRTHDAY TODAY.
ALL THREE OF US HAVING EXACT SAME BIRTHDAY!
THEY BOUGHT IT.
WOW, THEY ARE REALLY CUTE, BUT THEY ARE EXTREMELY DUMB.
SO THEY SANG US A SONG AND DANCED.
WE ASKED FOR A HUG, BUT NOOOOO. :(
OH WE WILL GO THERE MORE OFTEN NOW ON.
STOPPED OVER AT THE RECORD STORE.
THEY HAD NOTHING.
EBAY IS LIKE THE BEST.
THAT'S JUST ME.

WELL, THIS THURSDAY, AT HOOTERS IN MANASSAS, THEY ARE HAVING WINGS PARTY? AND IF YOU TELL THEM THAT YOU EITHER WORK AT MANASSAS HONDA OR SIT NEXT TO APRIL, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO EAT WINGS FOR FREE!
SO ALL OF YOU GUYS SHOULD COME.
OH, AND WHEN YOU CALL, PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHO'S CALLING ME.
GEEZ.
THANKS.
XOXO.
GENE.

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[24 Jul 2003|11:18pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

YES.
TOMORROW, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE DINNER AT OTANI'S AT 6 PM.
I HOPE YOU AND MIKE CAN COME.
I REALLY HOPE SO, BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO EAT ALONE!
ANYWAYS, I WILL BE WEARING MY PINK SHIRT TO THE SHOW SO ANYONE CAN SPOT ME.
HOPEFULLY I WILL BE THE ONLY ONE WEARING PINK SHIRT THAT HAS A BUILT IN POCKET ON THE RIGHT BREAST!
I ALSO GOT NEW SHOES AT GOODWILL I WILL BE SPORTING TOMORROW.
I HOPE TO SEE EVERYONE THERE.
GOOD NIGHT, AMERICA.
XOXO.
GENE.

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[23 Jul 2003|10:47pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

IT SOUNDS LIKE BOMBDIGGITY PLAN;
FREE DINNER THIS FRIDAY (JULY 25TH) NIGHT AT 6PM?
AT OTANI'S IN CHANTILLY.
THEN THEN, WE WILL GO TO THE SHOW IN RURITAN AT 8PM.
WHO WILL JOIN ME?

CALL THIS NUMBER AND TALK TO ME OR LEAVE A MESSAGE.
703-626-8872

 title or description

THAT IS THE PICTURE OF MY CELLPHONE I AM USING NOW AND I DO NOT HAVE ALL THOSE FANCY LIGHTING OR TEXT MESSAGING.
I CAN ONLY DIAL AND RECEIVE PHONE CALLS.
THANKS!


EVERYONE IS WELCOME, EXCEPT FOR ALL YOU VEGANS.
BECAUSE I AM HAVING MY DINNER AT A STEAK HOUSE. :(
NEXT TIME I WILL HAVE IT AT HOOTERS!
CONTACT ME, NIGGAS.
THANKS.
XOXO.
GENE.

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[23 Jul 2003|09:38am]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

TWO PEOPLE I ADORE AND CHERISHCollapse )

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[23 Jul 2003|08:51am]
[ mood | angry ]

I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT TWICE BEFORE I MADE FUN OF THE CHATROOM KIDS.
NOW THEY HACKED MY COMPUTER AND IT'S DEAD.
BUT I AM ASIAN, I OWN MORE THAN ONE COMPUTER, SO.
HA, ASSHOLES.
OK, NOW I AM PISSED ABOUT MY COMPUTER THAT JUST DIED LAST NIGHT.
OH WELL.
REST IN PIECE, DELL 1998.

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[22 Jul 2003|10:27pm]
[ mood | nauseated ]

LYNNE, YOU AND YOUR CHATROOM POSSE IS GAY.

"OH MY GOSH, YOU ARE A NOOB AND I AM NOT BECAUSE I'VE BEEN COMING INTO THIS CHATROOM FOR YEARS NOW."
"EVERYBODY KNOWS MY NAME IN THAT CHATROOM."

YOU ARE SO FUCKING LAME.
I CAN UNDERSTAND PEOPLE GOING TO CHATROOMS FOR 30 MINUTES, MAYBE AN HOUR OR TWO AT A TIME, BUT YOU SPEND ALL YOUR FUCKING LIFE TALKING IN CHATROOMS AS IF THEY WERE REALLY YOUR FRIENDS.
SOME GUYS ARE OVER 16, PROBABLY HAS A LICENSE AND DRIVE.
BUT NOOOOOOOO.
I RATHER GET ON MY COMPUTER AND CHAT WITH THESE HOT GUYS/GIRLS.
(OF COURSE THEY ARE ALL HOT, BECAUSE YOU CAN'T REALLY SEE THEM!)
"NO, BUT I HAVE SEEN THEIR PICTURES!"
ADOBE PHOTOSHOP, MY FRIEND!
OMFG.
IT IS SO ENTERTAINING TO WATCH THESE LAMERS CHAT IN THIS CHATROOM.

PSH.
IF THAT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH, PEOPLE DATE ONLINE.
SO MUCH FOR STICKING YOUR COCK IN THE HARDDRIVE AND MASSAGING YOUR VAGINA WITH YOUR MOUSE.

OK, ENOUGH RANTING.



SORRY THE LETTERS ARE TAKING FOREVER.
I WILL MAKE THEM REAL SPECIAL.
THANKS.
XOXO.
GENE.

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[21 Jul 2003|08:19pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

dear, (your name here)
i am sorry.
i truly really am.
forgive me.
xoxo.
gene.

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[19 Jul 2003|12:02am]
[ mood | crushed ]

fat girls sink: will you please go out with me?
fat girls sink: i even bought new jeans for you.
the girl: lol uh..really?
fat girls sink: yeah, i was so nervous, i had to go out and buy new jeans.
the girl: I dont even know you
the girl: oh.
fat girls sink: that's ok then.
the girl: we can hang out...it usually takes me a while to get to that point
fat girls sink: i am not saying we should be a couple, but i want to get to know you more.
fat girls sink: i think you are really pretty.
fat girls sink: :-[

I FINALLY GOT HER SCREEN NAME SINCE SHE DIDN'T HAVE A CELL PHONE.
THE GIRL I HAD A CRUSH ON FOR WEEKS DOESN'T LIKE ME.
I WANT TO GO CRY MY EYES OUT NOW.

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